About Me

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My life's purpose is best described by: Be the change you want to see in the world: Gandhi. Smiling is my "botox"-FORGET THE DRUGS AND SURGERY. I spice up my life, not my diet, which is SIMPLY DELICIOUS on its own. KISS: I Keep it simple sugars-from whole, fresh, ripe, raw, organic fruits (veggies,some nuts/seeds too). The 811rv motto is: simplicity at mealtime, variety throughout the year. My motto is: I live in my own little world, but it's ok they all know me there. At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life.

5/24/2008

Let's talk about "poop", baby...

Here's one of my favourite subjects: POO. Do you, like me, get uncontrollable giggles just at the thought? Do you analyse it everytime you have a BM? No, I don't mean anything other than looking at it and perhaps smelling it-no touching it please! Do you make conclusions about your previous meals after analysing it? Are you, like me, now elated because you now have easy, painless, regular BMs since following 811rv-a dream you never thought you'd realize? I know, I know, Freud would have a field day with me...

According to Dr. D, these are the keys to a good BM: "Effortlessness, Satisfactory volume, No foulness, Clean drop."

Indulge me, let's analyse (pun intended) these keys one by one.

1)Effortlessness: Before going 811, I used to struggle, like you would not believe, when I had a bowel movement-which could easily stretch to once every three or four days. My family, like I said in my intro, used to tease me with a "she can't poo" song. Now, except for rare occasions when I've eaten high fat or otherwise have not followed a healthy lifestyle like sufficient sleep, my BMs are effortless and come at regular frequencies of usually 2 or 3 times a day. One of the methods I use to make it as effortless as possible is by adopting a natural squat position, by standing on top of the toilet seat and squatting down. Yes-don't argue with me, this is the best position for having a BM-check out this site if you don't believe me http://www.toilet-related-ailments.com/toilet-posture.html

I totally agree with this quote: "In his 1924 book Culture of The Abdomen, Dr William Welles did not mince his words when he wrote what he thinks of the sitting toilet:
"It would have been better if the contraption had killed its inventor before he launched it under humanity's buttocks."


[Source: William Welles, DC, 'The Importance of Squatting', Natural Health Society Journal, Penrith NSW]"

2)Satisfactory volume: Come on, you know, even if you won't admit it, when you're satisfied with the volume and when there's still some stuck inside that just doesn't want to come out yet. Isn't that the most frustrating thing?! Now, you might be tempted to give yourself an enema or a colonic, or perhaps some herbal or other medecine to "help" nature along, right? WRONG!!! These things are disastrous to one's health, especially colon health. Many, many countless people have been seriously damaged by such practices to the point of being totally incapable of having natural, independant BMs anymore. DO NOT GO ANYWHERE NEAR THESE "MEDICAL TREATMENTS" EVEN WITH A TEN FOOT POLE.

3)No Foulness: Hmmm, this one's a little tougher to analyse. I mean, I would like to think that my "s*%&" smells like roses now that I've changed my diet and lifestyle, but that would be stretching the truth, just a little. Of course, our own poo doesn't smell nearly as foul as someone else's, like for example, a not completely 811rv spouse (Hi Darling-don't you love it, that I constantly talk about you on my blog?), but there are noticeable differences between individual BMs depending on diet and lifestyle. For example, a high fat avocado will definitely foul up my poo the next day-it's very noticeable to say the least. A badly combined salad will do the same thing too. Go off 811 and WATCH OUT! That stink bomb's a real killer.

4)Clean Drop: This one's probably the toughest to analyse. It should "plop, plop, fizz, fizz-oh what a relief it is". I know that was a commercial for alkaselzer, but it always made me think of poo. It shouldn't splat on the side of the toilet and slowly slink its way down into the water. Nor should it explode all over the bathroom-I have seriously seen this in one public toilet. It was sooo gross!

Ok, so there you have it: the secrets to having a successful BM. Enjoy :)))

7 comments:

Martin said...

Great post Via. And I love your Neo Counter

Azura Skye said...

thanks for posting this! I always thought that sitting on the toilet was a funny thing!
I tried squatting on the toilet before but I was a bit unsure. But thanks for posting that article, it has quelled my doubts!
great to hear some honest talk about such matters : ))

Sarah said...

HAHAHA!! You seriously "stole" a blog post right from under me. That is hilarious, I read Dr. D's post on VS too and I had thought, someone has GOT to blog about that! LOL :)

p.s. I grew up with squatty potties... :)

Via811 said...

Thanks Martin and Azura. As for you Ms Sarah Parker...I can't wait to read your take on this endless source of amusement. Don't let my post stop you. BTW, great minds think alike, n'est-ce pas?

Green said...

I just got back from Thailand and on my way over on the Tokyo stopover I needed to use the toilet. I have been to Tokyo many times before but this time I had to go poo and the only available toilet in the bathroom I was in was the hole in the ground kind (I never even noticed they had them there). I decided to give it a try. It sure does feel more natural, only problem is that it takes some getting used to in order to avoid getting your shoes dirty (I hope this wasn't too much information) lol.

fruchtloop said...

Hey, I tried it today at work, nonetheless! It worked!

hee hee.

Fruitloop

EcoDea said...

Hi, via, thought this would interest you. The next meeting will be Thurs: http://www.oprah.com/obc_classic/find/bookclubs_locate_results.jsp?categoryId=3 (both groups listed are actually the same one)