Durian-How do I love thee?...

Oh, my beautiful, prickly, smelly Durian, how do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the breadth and depth and height
my nose can endure,
and my stomach can stretch
and my arms can reach
to pick you off the tree,
outside my house,
so you don't stink it up,
that I've hung you on,
as you thaw,
from your long voyage,
across the oceans,
in a frozen state.

I love thee to the level
of every day's most urgent,
hungry need,
by sun,
candlelight
and even fluorescent,
energy-saving bulbs.

I love thee freely,
even though you cost a fortune,
and I wish I could forage you freely
from abandoned orchards.

I love thee purely,
as any low-fat raw vegan,
must surely do.

As for the other ways that I love thee, Elisabeth Barrett Browning said it way better than I ever could so I might as well shut up now.

"I love with a passion put to use
In my old griefs (pre 811rv with many "dis-eases"), and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

p.s. I love my dogs more however, because I actually share my durian with them-can you imagine sharing durian?

p.p.s. I probably shouldn't be admitting this, but I actually enjoyed my durian smelling farts.

Check out these durian videos for more durian fun:

Who says cats are obligate carnivores?

Durian virgins

Scottie can you beam me there please?

King of fruits

You can not eat that, tomorrow is gone

How smelly is the durian?

Durian last supper

You can't eat durian cos you don't eat_____